


Helping Hand

by NicolesEclipse



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Depression Presenting as Anger, Depression Presenting as Apathy, Desperation, Hades is Trying, Hades is a Good Parent, Heavy Angst, Poor Nico, Suicidal Thoughts, he just wants to be loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24484642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicolesEclipse/pseuds/NicolesEclipse
Summary: Nico is 16 now. He's struggling with himself, who he is, and what he's been through. He wants help, but is repressing that feeling, thinking he doesn't deserve it. Just before he's about to end it all, escape the pain coiling within himself and causing so much doubt, he receives a helping hand.I posted this story about 4-5 years ago on FF.net. I'm posting it here now 'cause why not? Mind the tags!!! Let me know what you guys think!
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Hades
Comments: 11
Kudos: 117





	Helping Hand

Tears rolled down his face. He couldn't stop them. He didn't want to stop them. He wanted to feel the wetness on his cheeks. He wanted his skin to be irritated by the physical form of emotional pain rolling down his cheeks, resisting the urge to itch his skin and wipe them away. He hated this. He hated himself. He hated everything about himself. Every part of him deserved to be beaten and tortured. Every part of him was cursed; he was cursed to be alone, to never feel loved and for no one to ever love him.

He stared angrily at the Styx, watching his reflection twist and distort as the souls within it passed by in the currents, screaming and crying for mercy and freedom. The Styx was the river of hate, and he knew it was feeding into his hatred for himself, but he couldn't care less. He wanted to feel it. He didn't deserve to feel anything besides the hate. What did he have to be proud of? Nothing. He had nothing. No one and nothing. He deserved nothing more than hate. He deserved nothing more than torture. Someone needed to beat him and make him feel as low as low gets with no mercy.

He cried harder as thought after self-hating thought crossed his mind. Every now and then, he'd catch himself pleading and praying for someone to find him; to come to him and hold him tightly, tell him he was worth everything to them, that he was loved and they wouldn't let anything bad ever happen to him again. But he threw that out of his mind. No one was coming to save him from himself. No one would ever save him. He was alone. He was destined to be alone. No matter how much he pleaded and prayed and downright screamed for mercy, no one would ever hold him tightly to them. And that's all he wanted. He wanted nothing more than to just be held by someone who swore on the Styx that they loved him.

But in order for all that to happen, he'd have to believe in love in the first place. He knew some part of him must believe in it if he wanted it so desperately, but the fact that he hadn't seen it in years... it wavered his faith. He didn't believe in love, and he just couldn't cope with hate.

He stared into the crashing currents of the Styx. Each soul screamed his name, calling him into the waters, into his death. He was so tempted. So very tempted. What did he have to live for anyway? A nonexistent love? Hope? Faith? He had none of it anymore. His innocence died six years ago, along with his sister.

He put his head in his hands, his body trembling as it was racked with his sobs. He caught himself praying for mercy and relief again, chastising himself in his mind. His hands clenched his hair, pulling tightly as if he was trying to tear it out. In a way, he wanted to. He wanted to feel some kind of physical pain. Physical pain was so easy. There was always some kind of medication or something to relieve it. Emotional pain was different. It was lingering, and built and built on top of itself over weeks, months, years of silent torture. Emotional pain was looked down upon. 'Oh, you got your feelings hurt? Get over it. Forget about it.'

Forget about it? Get over it? It hurt. He couldn't just forget. He couldn't just get over it. He could accept it eventually, but he needed help. He needed someone to hold his hand as he learned to accept what had happened. He just didn't have anybody. Nobody wanted to give him the kind of tender love he needed.

The tears fell harder, if possible, as he continued his longing stare into the Styx. His body shook as he stood. Controlling the muscles in his legs to walk was near impossible with how much he was shaking. He stood on the edge of the black water. It was peaceful, in a way. A calming feeling fell over him as he thought about how it was almost all over. Whoever said the Styx was an ugly river was wrong. It was beautiful in an eerie way. It's black waters cascaded over itself as it rushed downhill into Tartarus. The ripples this created made a rainbow color on the water to its banks. If there was enough light, the waters looked purple, creating a mystic feeling about it. 

Nico stared at it more, a dead look of longing in his eyes. All he'd have to do was take a few more steps, and it would be over. No more pain. No more lies. No more condescending words. He was so close to the end, he could feel his own death float through the air.

"Nico." A voice said behind him. He gasped, closing his eyes tightly and clenching his fists. Now? Now somebody wanted to say something to him once he finally found his way out? Once he finally found his way of getting peace? Who had the audacity to stop him? He turned, seeing Hades himself standing a bit away, his hands in his pockets. Nico couldn't help the anger that washed through him. Now he wanted to show up? Now he wanted to do something? No. No that was bullshit. He had found a way to get peace; to get away from all the pain, and now Hades was going to show up?

"What." Nico said, venom in his voice. He didn't even say it as a question. They both knew what he was about to do. There was no need to wonder why Hades had said his name. There was also no need to face him. If Nico kept his back turned to his father, he could easily take a running leap into the Styx anytime he wanted. He wanted his salvation to stay before his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Hades asked. Nico's breath stuttered from the rage that washed through him. What was he doing? Hades knew what he was doing. Why make him say it out loud? To prove some point? What point could that possibly be? Make him feel ashamed? Nico let out a humorless chuckle, tears still streaming from his eyes. He wouldn't feel ashamed for this. This is what he wanted. It was his escape.

"You know what I'm doing." He said emotionlessly. He caught himself wondering why he bothered speaking with Hades at all. He could ignore him and make a running leap, ending it all here and now. Maybe a part of him was still holding onto hope; a hope that maybe, just maybe, Hades would help him.

"Why?" Hades asked, emotionless himself. Nico was forced to bite his tongue hard enough until he tasted blood. Why? That's what he had to say? Why? He shook again, not knowing if it was from sadness or anger. Why did the simple question evoke such intense feelings from him that he couldn’t decipher? Nico didn’t know. He couldn’t figure it out, so he went with the Freudian way to figure it out. He asked himself the question again, and went with the first thing that popped into his head. It made him so upset because Hades should know why. Hades should know why Nico felt this way. Hades should know why his son wanted to end it all.

"Why do you care?" He questioned through his teeth, fighting back whatever emotion it was that he was feeling. He couldn't even identify it himself anymore.

"I'm your father." Was Hades' simple answer, as if that explained everything. Nico rolled his eyes, his back still turned.

"Since when?"

"Since you were conceived." Hades declared, his tone void of any sympathy. That fact made Nico shake more from both anger and sadness yet again, the two emotions seeming to fuel him at the moment. He was sad that, even as he stood on the edge of death, his father felt nothing for him. The fact Hades felt nothing, however, made him angry. All he wanted was a fucking hug. He couldn't just come out and say that. That was awkward and childish. Why couldn't someone just realize he wanted to be held?

"Just because you helped to create me doesn't make you my father." He said quietly. His fists were clenched at his sides, tears flowing freely from his eyes as he attempted to sort through his emotions, only to fail. "You haven't earned that title."

"I haven't killed you." Hades told him, an eyebrow raised.

"Father of the year." Nico rolled his eyes. "And in case you haven't noticed, I wouldn't really care if you did."

"I gave you your sword. I fought in that war against Kronos simply because you asked me to help. I haven't killed that Jackson sea-spawn." Hades listed things he'd done for him, and it only made Nico more angry. Every nice thing Hades did every now and then suddenly erased everything negative, and it made Nico furious, because Hades could use those things against Nico when he needed to, which he just had. More tears of frustration escaped Nico's eyes, no matter how bad he tried to stop them.

"It doesn't work like that." Nico said quietly. He didn't know how to explain himself. He didn't know how to describe anything. It wouldn't make much of a difference anyway. Hades wouldn't help him the way he needed. The most he'd do is ship him back to Camp Half-Blood, which was the exact opposite of what needed to be done. To Nico, sending him away just meant that nobody wanted to deal with him. Nobody wanted to love him. Thinking that made him want to take a running leap head first into the Styx. What was the point of sticking around if no one wanted him? What was the point if no one loved him? To continue to be a puppet for Olympus? No. Nico wouldn’t allow that anymore.

"What doesn't work like that? You must explain yourself, child." Hades said, his tone uncharacteristically calm and soothing. That made Nico angry too. Hades should be upset! He should be demanding answers! He should be pulling him away from the Styx's edge and disciplining him for 'scaring him like that'. But no. No, it seems Hades would let him jump, if Nico wanted to. As soon as he did, Hades would simply turn and walk away, never to speak of his gods-awful son again.

"I don't know!" Nico said, his anger getting the better of him. "I don't know." He whispered, raising one of his hands to hold it over his heart as the pain became unbearable. He clutched at his chest with it, only to grab a fistful of his own dirty shirt. He knew he was lying. He did know what he wanted, in a sense. He did know what did and didn't work. He just couldn't explain it. He didn't possess the language skills to be able to explain the pain he was in, and what was upsetting him. He could only rely on hope that someone would just understand. Hope, it seemed though, was failing him.

Hades watched his son shake and tremble where he stood, clearly attempting to hold back some sort of tsunami of emotion. "Nico," he said gently, hoping not to scare the boy into the river. He had to approach this delicately, and it seemed Nico was only one wrong word away from his goal. "Nico..." Hades said again, trying to find the right words. Nico didn't know what was upsetting him, it seemed. Or the thing that was upsetting him was everything, and Nico just didn't know how to sort through it all. His defeated tone earlier proved that. Hades sighed. "Nico, how can I help if you don't wish to talk?" Hades asked. He knew he failed though when Nico's fists turned white from how hard he clenched them. Was there any right way to approach him?

'I don't want to talk.' Nico thought bitterly, his heart feeling like it was repeatedly being stabbed as it fell into a dark void. 'I want a hug. I just want a hug.' He thought, his fists clenched so tightly his nails were beginning to draw blood from his palm. 'Please... please, just realize that... please...' Nico pleaded in his mind.

"Realize what?" Hades asked. "When you get desperate, your thoughts turn into prayers, Nico, and I'm the one who hears them. You know what you want. You just don't want to tell me."

A wave of frustration washed through Nico. Of course he couldn't tell him! What sixteen-year-old goes to his father and asks for a hug? Nico was too old for that, and it hurt. He didn't get enough hugs as a child. After Bianca died, he got none. He was always alone. So bitterly, bitterly alone. He spent a lot of nights wanting someone next to him, and now, he was done. He was done hanging onto an intangible thing called hope. He couldn't take it any longer. He needed somebody. Anybody. But nobody would ever want to be with him. Nobody would ever want to waste their time on a pathetic piece of schist that wouldn't grow up.

Nico's tears flowed from his eyes like waterfalls. He imagined he looked like a cartoon character whose eyes turned into faucets when they cried. He had no idea what he must look like right now to Hades. He assumed he looked like a disgrace. He was probably the worst child Hades had ever had. Hades himself had said he’d prefer it if Bianca had lived. Nico shut his eyes tightly. He would never be as good as Bianca. He'd never be as sweet as Hazel. He understood now why Hades had never claimed him. He deserved nothing more than banishment. He deserved to be thrown away with all the monsters in Tartarus, because he was nothing more than that: a monster.

Nico gasped when he felt a wave of energy flow through him, looking up to see two bones surrounded by a mist of black shadows floating above his head. The glyph spun around twice before disappearing. Nico turned back around to face Hades, who looked completely heartbroken. Hades? Heartbroken? How? What could possibly have made him sad?

"I read your mind, Nico." Hades said so quietly Nico was straining his ears to hear him. Read his mind? How much had he heard?

"Enough." Hades answered. He slowly walked over to Nico, gently grabbing his son's wrist and guiding him away from the river's edge. "I just claimed you." He said, unsure of how else to tellhim. "You're my son, Nico. You..." Hades had to look to the ground to gather his own emotions together. He bit his lip to keep himself from letting the tears go. He took a deep breath and looked back at Nico, keeping a gentle, but firm, hold on his wrist. "You don't deserve to be in Tartarus. You're not a disgrace. You're not a monster, and you're not the worst child I've ever had." Hades was taking deep breaths to hopefully swallow the painful, burning lump in his throat. "I love you, Nico. Despite my many mistakes. Despite my failures as a father, I love you. I'm sorry, son. I'm sorry for making you feel like this; for making you feel as if you're an outcast. For making you feel as if I... I hated you." Hades looked at the ground once more, ashamed of himself. How could he have failed so miserably? How could... how could he have done this to Nico? Even thinking that was admitting that the way Nico felt was partially his fault, and it was a hard thing to admit. Nico hated himself because he hadn't paid enough attention to him. Apparently... nobody had.

Hades took a deep, stuttered breath as his chest clenched in pain at the thought. He looked into Nico's eyes. "Nico, son, look at me." He said firmly. Nico looked up, staring into Hades' eyes, looking for any signs of deception. His ears listened sharply, straining themselves for a condescending tone. There was no way Hades' apology had been sincere. No one was ever sincere to him. No one would ever apologize to him. Surely this was a joke; Hades had figured out what Nico wanted. He wanted love, and the god found that hilarious. He was going to tease Nico. He was going to invalidate every feeling he had and make him feel even more worthless than he already did. That was the Greek way.

"No, Nico, I am not." Hades said firmly, looking Nico in the eyes. "I love you. Nico," Hades had to stop speaking again as another tremble of sadness shook his heart at the thought that Nico simply wanted to know what it felt like to be loved. "I swear to you that from now on, you are my number one priority. I will help you through this, Nico. I will get you out of this black hole you've fallen into. I may have pushed you in, unbeknownst to me, but I'll be damned if I don't send down the ladder, too. Son, please, don't go in the river." Hades let himself grovel at Nico's feet. He had to show some humility. He had to show Nico that he was being sincere.

Nico stood before Hades, the tears flowing from his eyes. He hadn't sensed a shred of insincerity in Hades' spiel, and he was good at picking out negative tones. He searched for negativity in everything. It was a sixth sense now. Years of negativity training, and Nico hadn't heard a bit of insincerity come from his father. But could he trust him? Could he allow himself to open up to Hades completely? Could he just suddenly spill everything because of one apology? To just suddenly open up and reveal his innermost self all because of one simple apology? No. No he couldn't. He wouldn't. He had to keep his guard up. He had to play it safe, if only for his own sanity. What if he told Hades all his secrets; every negative thought he had, shared all his feelings with him, and Hades was simply playing a role? What if he was gathering information to use against him? What if... after he learned everything... he just threw it back in Nico's face, torturing him with his own secrets and feelings? Nico shook in fear, not wanting to expose himself. He'd never leave himself so vulnerable to anyone. Never. He'd never open up. He'd keep everything to himself. He was too scared what the outcome of opening up would be. There were so many things that could happen if he opened up. More negative than positive. The cons outweighed the pros by a landslide.

Nico trembled, then moved his gaze from the dirt of the underworld to his father's eyes. He saw something in them he hadn't seen in so long. It was something familiar, something warm. Something comforting and promising to help. He realized what it was. Nico gasped as he realized it was the same look Bianca used to give him. Nico closed his eyes. He had to. He couldn't look into a gaze like that again. He didn't-

"You deserve it." Hades said sharply, interrupting Nico's thought process and finishing his thought. "I understand your hesitancy, son." Hades said quietly, making a point to call Nico his son as much as he could. "I understand you're scared. I... I am too. I'm... I'm afraid I'll lose you, if something doesn't change." Hades admitted to the ground. He had to tell Nico, though. He had to tell his son how he felt, not the dirt. He looked back into Nico's eyes. "I am afraid of losing you, Nico. If you'll let me, I can help."

Nico looked away. He couldn't stand the intensity that Hades was staring at him with. He swore his sincerity. He was practically begging Nico to let him help him. He just didn't know if he could really let himself open up completely to him.

"I don't expect anything to happen all at once, Nico." Hades told him, rubbing Nico's arm tenderly because of how badly the boy was shaking. "I realize that I must earn your trust. I know this won't happen overnight. I know it'll take months to earn it, maybe even years. I just want the opportunity. Please, Nico. Let me help you."

Nico shook, shutting his eyes tightly to avoid an over-spillage of tears. He didn't even know how to react to this. He wasn't used to this. He was used to people being condescending. He was used to the cruelty and abuse people gave him. He was used to being alone and keeping everything inside. He was used to having no one. How was he supposed to react to this? This wasn't normal. This wasn't how people treated him. This wasn't how he was supposed to be treated. He was supposed to get the abuse from everyone. That's why he was born, after all. To take the abuse.

"That's a lie, Nico." Hades told him quietly. "You were born from love. Your mother and I... we loved each other tremendously. You were created from that love. You are love incarnate. That's why you are so sensitive to the feelings of others; that’s why you’re sensitive to evil to begin with. Love is powerful. But it is dangerous too, for it can drive someone mad. Nico, your love for humanity is what will save you. You can overcome this. I know you can.” Hades encouraged, just short of praying that Nico was listening. He held tightly to Nico’s wrist, not daring to let go. What if he did, and Nico… he… no. No, Nico could beat this. He was strong, and he had to prove that to him. “Your name means victory, Nico.” Hades whispered, his voice failing him when he needed it most. “Warriors achieve victory. If you want to win, you'll need to fight, and I will aid you along the way. Nico, please, come with me. Come live with me, and leave this river behind you.” Hades told him, looking him in the eyes. He finished strong in the end, his voice steady and strong, hoping it could inspire his son. If he sounded sure of himself, if he sounded strong, maybe Nico could be, too?

Nico took in a stuttered breath. His eyes were shut as he tried to figure out what it was he was feeling. He couldn't place a name on it. He continued to tremble as he tried to figure out what was happening, what to do with himself. He couldn't simply just live with Hades, could he? Wasn't that against the rules, or something? Had any demigod ever actually lived with their godly parent? And what reason would he have to live with his father in the first place? Why would he want to? What did Hades have to offer?

"Love." Hades said immediately, tightening his grip on Nico's wrist. "I can offer what no one else can, Nico. My love. It's unconditional, and you won't have to earn it. I can teach you what the word means. I can teach you what family means. I can teach you everything that I have already failed to teach you. Nico, please. Come with me." Hades pleaded again, trying not to let Nico look at the river, although his gaze kept going back and forth, as if he was weighing the pros and cons. He had to think of a better pro than whatever the river was offering Nico right now. He had to give his son a reason to live.

"Nico, if you choose me, I will give you anything you want." He said, hiding his desperation. He didn’t know what Nico wanted. Nico grimaced, and Hades' heart sunk. Had he failed again?

"I don't want things." Nico said quietly. He didn't seem upset, and Hades jumped at the opportunity that Nico was providing him.

"What do you want, then, my son?" He asked, waiting anxiously. Nico stared at the ground for the longest time. It seemed like years. He shook and trembled harder, his teeth clattering together.

"I..." Nico began, but bit his lip, looking away.

"No, Nico. Tell me what you want." Hades said firmly, tightening his grip on Nico's wrist again. He couldn't let him go until he knew for sure Nico wouldn't jump.

"I..." Nico tried again, but shame filled his veins and he was forced to look away. He couldn't tell his father what he wanted. He was too old for it. He was too old for what he wanted. He should be ashamed. He shouldn’t want this. Hades sighed in frustration.

"Nico, please... tell me what you want."

Nico took a deep breath, gathering his courage. All right. He had to tell him. This could be the first test. Hades' reaction to this could determine whether Nico should jump or not. It could determine Hades' willingness to help him, no matter what. It could determine how much he cared, and how far he was willing to break the rules to help. Nico's teeth chattered again from the trembling. It was getting hard to hold the wall he'd built, to keep his emotions at bay, up.

"I... I want… I… I want… a hug..." Nico said quietly, his cheeks going red from shame and embarrassment. He wanted to take it back. He wished he'd never said anything. Opening up just that much had caused him to immediately regret it. That was a secret. His desperation for gentle human contact was a secret. His heart felt heavy, and it physically hurt because of how badly he wanted to be held. The fact that he had told Hades that secret destroyed him. He had just willingly gave him ammo to use against him. He might as well have given him the gun, too. He wanted to pretend he had never admitted his longing for contact at all. He wanted to play it off somehow. Hades was going to laugh. He was going to roll his eyes, or look at him in disapproving disbelief. If he hadn't disowned him before, he certainly was going to now.

What he didn't expect to happen was to immediately be pulled into his father's chest, breathing in the cologne he could smell on his neck.

Hades didn't know if Nico could hear how loudly his heart was pounding from the pain in his chest. That? That's what Nico was so afraid of saying? He was so scared to ask for a hug, and it was heartbreaking. The boy's face showed instant regret. It showed a slow kind of torturous pain on it that he realized he had just opened up, even a small bit. Which meant it took a lot for him to do it. This was Nico trying. This was his way of giving him a chance. Something that seemed so small, so expendable to other people was huge to him. He thought so lowly of himself that he didn't even deserve a hug. Hades' jaw tightened in anger at the world for doing this to his child. But he realized something as he held Nico in his arms.

He helped.

He had helped turn Nico into this self-hating, angsty ball of fear and depression. This wasn't the world's fault. Nico wasn't the world's problem. It was his. Nico was his problem. He had done this to him by ignoring him for so long. He hadn't been there. Nobody had, and now?

Now Nico was exactly what he should be under these circumstances. His own worst enemy. His own bully. His own voice telling him to kill himself. He didn't think he deserved anything as happy as love, because he never got it. He didn't believe he deserved happiness period, because he never felt it. He didn't believe he deserved anything other than loneliness, because that's all he knew for his short sixteen years, especially the last six or so.

Hades' hands clenched into fists on his son's back, bunching up his son’s dark shirt. He would fix this. He had to fix this. This was his fault, his own doing. He'd pushed his son to think that death was his only escape from the soul-annihilating pain in his heart and soul. What would Maria think if she knew what he had done to their son? Their sweet, bouncing baby boy who always giggled and babbled at them as an infant. Their son who was always concerned about the other children who 'wouldn't ever get picked up' when they picked him up from daycare. Their son who fought a child on the playground when he was four for calling his sister a name. Their son who fought tooth and nail, despite doing the wrong thing, to bring that same sister back. To at least have closure with her. Their son who pleaded with him to fight alongside the Olympians to help stop Kronos. Their son who led the Seven to the Doors of Death, saving Jackson and Chase despite being isolated by them as well. Their son who carried the Athena statue across the globe by shadow travel to help resolve the war between the Greeks and the Romans. Their son who now, stood before him, a trembling, crying mess with so much pain in his heart that he wanted to die.

Hades hugged Nico tight against him, squeezing him with all he had. He accidentally let a few gasps of breath go as he held back his tears. All Nico wanted was a hug. And he was too scared to ask for one, afraid something bad would happen.

"I'm so sorry, Nico. I'm so so sorry." Hades told him, running his fingers through Nico's hair as he held him. "This is my fault. This is all my fault. I did this to you. I made you this way. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve any of this pain you feel. I promise you, son, that I will fix my mistake. I will never be so foolish again. Please, forgive me. I don't deserve it, but please, forgive me. Come stay with me, Nico. Come stay with me so I can right what I have wronged. I will fix you. I will make you feel happiness and see the light again if it's the last damned thing I do. Please, Nico. Please..." Hades begged him. He didn't care about pride anymore. He didn't care about humility. He wanted his son happy. That's all.

Nico bit his lip, trying to stop himself from sobbing. He was being hugged by someone who clearly wanted to help him. He was being held by someone who... no. No, he couldn't admit that yet. He couldn't admit that someone may... love him. He didn't believe he was lovable. He didn't believe anybody could ever love someone like him. He was a monster. He shouldn't have ever been born. He should've died long ago. He should've killed himself long ago, saving a lot of people a lot of trouble.

Nico gasped as Hades squeezed him harder.

"Stop. Please... Nico... you're breaking my heart..." Hades begged him, clearly having read his mind again. He didn't know how to react. "I love you." Hades told him, holding him close to his chest. "You are worthy of love, my son. More than I am." Hades whispered. Nico couldn't understand why his father seemed to be trying to hold back his own emotions. Were these thoughts really making him that upset? Was the way he thought of himself really... breaking his father's heart?

"Yes." Hades answered him. "Nico... let me fix you. Let me show you what happiness looks like. We can achieve it for you again, together. I won't leave you alone again. I will not let you face this on your own. I will be right beside you every step of the way as you find the light and color in the world again. Just please... please stop thinking so negatively of yourself. You're so much better than what you think you are."

Nico swallowed a big lump in his throat. "Okay." He finally relented quietly, wrapping his arms around Hades' neck. It was his sign that he wanted to be carried back to the palace like a child. His face reddened though, when he realized how childish that want was. He was too old for something like that. He wanted to think it was another test. A test to see if Hades would carry hisson all the way back to the palace. Another test to prove himself. But Nico couldn't do that. Wanting to be carried was childish. It was something he couldn't ever have again, like a hug.

Before Nico could think another thought, Hades lifted him into his arms, forcing Nico to hang on. "Wh-"

"I'm carrying you." Hades told him simply, as if it was nothing.

"But... I'm too old... too big..." Nico said, finding excuses for why he should be put down, even if he didn't want to be.

"You're almost seventeen. That is not too old. I’m a couple of millennia, Nico. You might as well be a baby compared to my age. And you are light for your height. Nico, you are my child, and you'll always be my child." Hades told him, carrying him across the underworld. Nico stayed silent, unsure of how to react. What was he supposed to do in this situation? He didn't have background experience to go off of. Not even a book.

"So write your own." Hades told him quietly. He kissed Nico's forehead, hoping to calm his anxiety. "This is a new chapter in your life, Nico. It's when your dark days are put behind you. It's when you realize how amazing you truly are, and how much more of a hero you are than the other demigods. It's when you see yourself as a deserving, well-balanced member to society, not someone who should... should kill them self because they are worthless. You are not worthless. You are my son. The son of death and shadows that holds so much love in his heart that it hurts when he doesn't see it in humanity. You've already beaten the odds once, son. I want you to do it again, and this time, I want you to not only survive, but to set goals for yourself to reach. To go above and beyond what you think you're capable of, because you can do anything." Hades talked to him as he carried him to the palace. Nico soaked up every word, hanging onto every word as if it was life and death, which... in a way... it was. He needed to hear this. He wanted to hear it.

Hades carried Nico to his room, laying him in his bed. He gave him another kiss on his forehead, tucking him into bed. "I love you, Nico. Get some rest. You deserve it." Hades told him, gingerly running a hand through Nico's hair. He stopped cold when he saw a few tears leak from Nico's eyes. He immediately knelt beside the bed. "What?" He asked, wondering what had happened, fear and sadness filling his heart again at the thought that Nico had berated himself somehow. "What is it?" He asked, taking one of Nico's hands and holding it in his own, prepared to fight back any demon that may be trying to fill Nico's heart with darkness.

Nico smiled, closing his eyes softly and shaking his head, indicating there was nothing wrong. And that's why he was crying. They were tears of joy. "Thank you." He whispered.

Hades' eyes softened and he hugged Nico tightly. "Anything for you, Nico. I'm doing nothing more than simply telling you the truth." He whispered back. Nico squeezed Hades back, wrapping his arms around him. It was unbelievable how this day has turned out. He had woken up, knowing... feeling... that today was the day he was going to die. He had accepted it, he realized, long before he knew it. He went to the underworld, feeling there was no better place to die other than the place he called home. With seconds left of his life, his world had suddenly taken a one-eighty, counting up the years instead of counting down the seconds of life he had left. He felt something inside. He didn't know what it was. He internally grabbed onto it, deciphering its meaning. He smiled when he realized what the feeling was.

It was hope. It was love. It was a feeling to live for.

And live he would, now, with his father helping him through his recovery.

"Goodnight." Nico said quietly when Hades stood again, going to the light switch beside the door.

"Goodnight, my son. Tomorrow is a brand new day. A day you'll get to live and see because you chose to. You get to see the sun again, and you'll get to experience it with a new viewpoint. Tomorrow, we will see what it has to offer." Hades told him. Nico smiled softly, his cheeks blushing from embarrassment, but wanting to hear comments like that all the time.

"I love you." Hades told him. Nico blinked a few times, pulling the covers up to cover his mouth.

"I love you, too." He replied. Hades smiled and shut the light off. Love was a mysterious thing. It certainly had a power to build, but it could destroy just as quickly. Love was something even the gods didn't fully understand, despite what Aphrodite said. Love could tear relationships to the ground. It could rip people, cities, countries, worlds apart. But it could create things so beautiful and powerful that life itself was made because of it.

In this instance? Hades wouldn't trade it for the world. Love he didn't know he had had given him a son. Love he didn't know existed either had forced him to save his son and bring him back from the brink of the very thing he ruled over.

And it amazed him, that even while all someone could think about was death, love fought with and conquered the death the person felt inside, and made them hope again. And it proved that giving someone something as simple as a hug could change everything.


End file.
